[100 days of gratitude] Day 32: Sharing is caring

The sharing session over lunch was very warm inducing.

Had a long working day - amazed at the different personalities around us, and their varied interests n premonitions, while being bounded by shared principles and humanity despite cultural differences.

Life is awesome. Humanity is awesome.

[100 Days of Gratitude] Day 31: Work is fun too

Put myself through a rigorous working session. Writing a paper after a long time, yet binding by the principles of paper-writing was encouraging.

The proposal was a great learning experience - there are still ways to get things done, but, the learnings through mobilizing resources and drafting skills are mindblowing

[100 Days of gratitude] Day 30: Thankful for patient listening skills

Went for a health checkup, found a beautiful nursery with an Indian caretaker. As we walked back, met a very old acquaintance, who needed a listening ear. That was all she wanted. Throughout the interaction at the clinic, and all along the way back home, she was chattering nonstop. And I was amazed at my ability to listen patiently, question certain beliefs without hurting, and explain stuff quietly.

I am proud of myself, and I surprise myself with this appreciation!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 29: Doing nothing is awesome too

There is pleasure in doing nothing, and the ability to do nothing is awesome too.

Made a wonderful chain out of beads.

Thankfully, there is a heightened ability to discern important from unimportant stuff.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 28: Unexpected mercies are a joy!

Sunday without swimming class. Thankful for the quietness and calmness. There were unexpected mercies in a phone call, and my plans for investments were clarified. Thankful for the people who stand up for me, when I need their opinion.

Fed the kiddo three meals. Made instant omapodi (yum!)

Spoke to long last friends, and the warmth it spread was wonderful.

Watched a movie together, as a family, after a long time.

Realize that movies are good binders.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 27: A walk in the woods is a repenisher of the soul

Had a replenishing walk with a group of parents and kids through Macritchie. It was replenishing and revealing at several counts.

We walked through 15kms up and down. The kiddo was amazingly energetically inspiring.  More so was the youngest kid, who clinged onto dad like crazy, and commented, "My fathers name is naina".

It was a lovely day!

Eat bun, and have fun in the Sun!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 26: Small gatherings of small humans brings great joy

Eve of the Chinese New Year, and although we were free to take the PM off, I stayed back and worked late. Working is addictive. It gives a lot of pleasure.

Had a call with my spiritual mentor after, and that was catharctic.

Had a small gathering of friends with their kids, cooked a brief-elaborate dinner that was well received. It was joy to spend time with the little ones.

Full of thanks for the little body-great soul kids that always always energize.

Thankful for innocence.
Me

[100 days challenge] Day 25: Everyday learnings and renewing the spirit

Today, spent a considerable time in editing a paper - something I had been missing since a couple of years. Thankful for the focussed time, ever since my mind's eye are being opened. It is opened and I am becoming a fully aware being.

I am thankful for the myriad opportunities to work with wonderful people, and the possibilities the world bestows!

I am thankful, for I feel sufficient. I am contended with what is given to me, and I am doing my best with it! For, I love myself, and loving myself calls for the best.

I need to respect my body and sleep, without giving in to watching movies!

[100 days of Gratitude] Day 24: Yay to new beginnings

Thankful for beginning the day with an early morning walk - for a full 1 hour.

I am thankful for the ability to see a few people that I thought I will never forgive, and smile at the face, let alone communicate with them.

I am thankful for the ability to draw positivity around me, and for the ability to help people (although not in dire need).

I am thankful for the ability to hold on to meaningful conversations for a whole 1 hr - leading to fruitful outcomes.

I am thankful for the ability to assess strangers, and say no, when necessary!

I am thankful to the Universe for loving me enough to provide and time the opportunity to confront with people and make them see my perspective.

I am enough. I love myself. I am a bit of the Universe - as much unique as I am, I am a part of a grand plan. As much insignificant I am, I am a part of the Universe's hope.

I am enough! The Universe is brilliant!!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 23: Pongal and the warmth of familiarity

This was Pongal  day. What an absolutely perfect day to thank the Universe for the multiple possibilities she has bestowed on us!

Thankfully, made Pongal early in the morning, prayed and went to office for an early morning meeting. The client meeting was fruitful, the proposal (internal) was approved - with me being absent, and it was good to hear of the support for good work.

Thankful for the calls from the ignored people - but a part of me resists telling that it is just an alm (the time and the call). I am ignoring these thoughts. It is not what they are, but what I am that matters to me.

I am thankful that people atleast take an effort to maintain the cordial link.

I am thankful for the sudden trip to the Temple from office, and for the opportunity to visit my charming Krishna! His smiling face leaves me beaming with smile. There's so much to learn from him- while all th eother deities (Jesus, inclusive), let their external happenings affect their internal state - Krishna remained largely a happy human (as a human). He was drawn by the carnal instincts, like all of us, and what the heck - he remained happy to the end. That state of mind is commendable. Thankful for the lessons and realizations.

I am in love with myself, and I am happy for everything. I aspire to find happy ways amidst every situation, for I am enough. I have everything within me to excel and enjoy!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 22: கடந்து வந்த பாதைகளை நினைத்துப் பார்க்கிறேன்

For a long time, I had wavered during meetings. It began with me taking notes on my mobile, only to give up on it after a long while. Recently, with all the mindfulness training, I am happy to have renewed this habit. It feels good to see my handwriting taking good shape, and my abilty to note down all the discussions in a meeting.

Again amazed at the ability to draw energy from the universe - after a tiring long day, am thankful for the ability to draw kolam for Pongal - a big one at that. Patience and planning make an excellent outcome. I am and I will remain patient and persevere. For I love my family, because I love myself first. I respect myself, and I am enough! I am perfect the way I am!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 21: Fruits of perseverance

Final agreement on usefulness - today, the department teams were showed in the group leaders' meeting. Was offended to see the size of my group - but I realize that we are a most hardworking, nonetheless. 

Walked into the head's office, and sought support.

At home, driven home the point of the usefulness and worth of the individual. Was agreed that the only project is not worth all the time.

I am thankful for the 1hr 30min session with my mentor, who helped me see through situations. The undisturbed time that I got at home is another boon. I am thankful for it!

I am happy that I had a mentor at the right time, when my mind and soul were desperately seeking for one. Thank the universe for the experiences that drove me into this mindfulness training, helping me, relieving me of my internal stress - and helping to opening my eyes. Have understood in the Bible that when God loves you, there's no way He is going to let you astray. He will find some means to get you back - I now realize the full meaning of this. I now believe that the subconscious mind that is once instigated, remains atleast half-awake, and it finds ways to keep awake, once it has seen its awake state.

For I love myself, and hence my subconscious mind is powerful.

I respect myself, and love myself.

I love myself; I am enough - my subconscious is and will remain awake.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 20: Deep breaths help to quieten, and quiet times help in rejuvenation

Kiddo drank a whole glass of milk only to puke them all out. My first reaction was anger, but, I restrained expressing it. In 2mins, the anger vaporised. Ditto during lunch time, when he vomitted a whole bowl of rice, after 1hr of munching his lunch. As much anger as I felt, I restrained myself by expressing gently that he wouldn't have dinner that night. Then cleaned up quietly and went back to watching Netflix.

Slept for a whole 2hrs post lunch. Had a fun time at the library with the kiddo volunteering to narrate a story. Went back home to make rice noodles. Disappointed with the spiciness and the complaints, I broke the batter box. Owned up to my mistake, Replaced the box, cleaned up the place and made dosa for the kiddo. 

I'm learning to manage my disappointments- of my own actions and those of others too. For I love myself, and my body doesn't deserve the bad treatment. My body deserves better, and my soul deserves even better. Anger and frustration wreck to churn the worst of and to my health, soul and spirit. I'm working on my affecting habits, and getting better with the day. For I love and respect myself, and my love and respect are abundant for my life. I am enough and need no longer reciprocation or appreciation. There's no better judge for me than I!

Love and Respect for myself

Me!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 19: Sleep is THE B.I.G. refresher, and trust is a costly commodity

Had been struggling sleep for a couple of days. This morning, massaged myself with warm combo of coconut+gingelly+olive oil. My eyes were pleading to sleep. Had salmon, and the rice+garlic thokku for lunch and slept. For a full 2 hours. Completely zoned out. What a refresher that was! Thankful for the little remedies.

Grateful for the trust - which is the most expensive commodity these days - was offended when the PHC guys wrote to friends  without my knowledge. When that was brought to my knowledge and explained, took things in my stride. There are never bad endings - if something isn't in good taste, there are always opportunities and options to turn that around - Goodness is just around the corner, and one needs to just peek over the bad taste.

The bday party, at the end of the day, was fun. The world suffers from lack of people to generate a hearty laugh. It would be fun if one can generate that - not everybody is receptive of such people either. However, nothing/nobody in the world is universally loved.

There is no better person to love myself than me - I am in love with myself. I'm perfect the way I am. I have huge respect for myself. And I respect people. If someone doesn't reciprocate, they are vibrating at a different frequency, and it is neither of our fault. I am understanding this, in my own time and terms, and I am growing. I am proud of my growing up.

Love,

Me.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 18: Pay attention to the cuteness around you. People are beautiful

The day begun on a dull note, with a sleepless night. But, the knowledge sharing session this morning was enough to nourish and energise. What a energetic environment it is, when you share and receive without inhibitions, and insecurities. It's a free life, isn't it. Why am I often bounded by inhibitions?!

Following this, was the Dhealth, where I kind of admired the young girl, who, as perplexed as she was, took it in her stride and style. I love this attitude. There is beauty all around me, only that I need to pay attention to the beauty and cuteness.

The long political discussion over lunch was another episode to be grateful for. The work done thereafter, the budgeting and fidgeting, and drafting. 

This is an all-rounder day, with many a ups and downs. Life is beautiful. The world is beautiful. I'm in love with the world, for I'm in love with myself, I respect my life and myself. I am just enough. I'm good and perfect the way I am!!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 17: Some human touch and it has such a healing effect

Had back to back meetings, and was gratified by my usefulness.

RPSIA sat beside me at the desk, and the comfort with which he sat, made me feel like being his sis, and that was a touching moment for myself. Some feelings are better left unsaid.

Ses's call was touching at several fronts - the liberty with which he said, "neenga yen bekku mathiri irukeenga" was warming.

I am a melter for warm words.

And to know that I count at the DHealth group, is another thing to be grateful for.

I love them all, I can't hurt them
For, I love myself, and hence, love them!
I forgive them, for I forgive myself!
I am enough. I have enough. I am awesome the way I am!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 16: Letting go isn't fun, but the joy is worth the effort

I had slogged for the AMD, the way it was snatched away from me wasn't by any means justified. That doesn't mean I stick on to it for no end, and lose my peace over it. 

I had recruited that guy, went out of the way to recruit. He backstabbed. That doesn't mean I stick on to it for no end, and lose my peace over it.

Today, I was told that there was a new recruit working on Online learning. And I was curious. When I checked on, came to know it was on the AMD, by him. It didn't affect me. I just observed, without brooding over it. That is good for me. Thankful for the ability to hold unaffected.

I surprised myself telling, "If the God he believes in really exists, He should show him a strong lesson. That will give me faith in God. And if God loses sensitive people, it is HIS loss :)". "End of the day, everybody "HAS" to die. Anniki what one has achieved is of no primary importance. What one has published is of no significance. But, the number of people who will carry your legacy is of prime importance. The number of people that will cry for you. I think I have/will earn a few. They are sufficient". I hope I will have a few countable ones! 

For I love myself, and respect myself.

That implies I forgive people and respect them too.

I am enough, really, I am enough.

God is a good Lord!

My God is a good Lord!

And then we had the yummy coconut milk dessert. What a way to unwind. 

Had a good long discussion with VS. Following this, I felt motivated enough to work on the proposal until 8PM.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 15: Pooling and co-ordinating is (not) a breeze

Requested for a group meeting to plan projects for 830AM. Was taken aback by the turn around. When I am ready to put my hands up, many hands are willing to put up too. Just that I need to be insistent, without feeling weary. It was a fruitful discussion, and I amazed myself with the amount of notes I could churn. The local team's participation and acknowledgement was even more warming. A day to relish and reflect upon, on my low days.

Come evening, had a discussion with a TED speaker, on a potential opportunity. Although I found his approach flawed, what touched me was his, "I am looking for passionate people like you". to be acknowledged and attested for what I stand for, is a privilege.

Resolved the executable functioning with a person I thought I couldn't ever forgive. It is fine, after all!

I forgive people, for I love myself, and forgive myself. Unforgiveness stops me from loving myself. Life sure will move on. 

I am enough! I am enough! The universe as a whole is awesome!!

[100 Days of Gratitude] Day 14: Warmed to see besties back

I am amazed at the ability and ease to build relationships - a little smile that takes a LONG way!

Had the annual review meeting, where the client's team were very appreciative of our work, and the warmth that was spread with a retiree - with him addressing 'my dear friend'.

The privilege that we, as the third generation post independence, have gained with all the education and the exposure therein. I am grateful for the opportunities that the past 5 years have bestowed on me, and the privilege to work and interact with some of the most professional, yet warm, individuals.

Thankful for the many privileges.

It was also equally warming to see a friend after a long time.

I love myself.
I am enough.
I respect myself and others.
 

[100 days of gratitude] Day 13: I'm amazed at the energy pool that I can draw from

I surprised myself with the quantity and quality of stuff I did, without an ounce of sleep through the day.

Cooked 2 breakfast each for the kiddo and dad. Cooked an elaborate lunch (listening to awesome melodies and peppies), cleaned the kitchen (what a pain it used to be as I complained due to comparisons, and what a breeze it was today!), Washed myself, went to the pool, walked over to get some tender coconuts, took the bus back home, fed the kiddo, put him to sleep (each without noise and quarrels), watched movies, made dinner and cleaned up the house- had no breakfast, a little for lunch and fruits for dinner. 

What an amazingly energetic universe this is!

I love and respect myself.

[100 days of gratitude] Day 12: slogging in the couch is fun

Spent the entire day (except for most important essentials) seated on the couch, marathon movie watching and chatting. What a previlege!

Wall-E, evade subramaniam, etc.

I love myself
I respect myself
I respect other lives
I am enough

[100 days of gratitude] Day 11: Little mercies

Grateful for the one on one session on the A*STAR MDP. It was refreshing to go through the ladder once more

Grateful for learning the art of evading certain imposters, politely.

Grateful for watching 'the bucket list' as a family.

I love myself. 

I am enough.

I love and respect myself and others. I deserve respect.

I am enough!

[100 days of gratitude] Day 10: Grateful for the opportunity/ability to Help and fill in

Today was a productive day.

From drafting the proposal to drafting the slides for SC meeting, to linking up Dr SK with EM (PSG).

Thank God for giving me the opportunity to learn, work and make changes - however small it might be.

The kiddo fell off the bed, and was miraculously saved from not being hurt. Thank God for protecting him.

Woke up in the morning, and did not take the phone immediately. Thank God for helping me to restrain..

Thankful for having had a discussion -peacefully, in the morning, at home.

Grateful for the mindfulness session - although very cloudy, pushed through.

Grateful for the disturbances while I was being praised by Dr SK, that led me to another brief mindfulness session in the evening.

Thankful for the little mercies.

Dear Lord, please lead me to your purpose for me.

I love myself.
I am enough.
I have an incredible love and zest for life.
I am the best.
I love and respect myself.
I am enough.
I respect everybody.
I speak very coherently, and meaningfully.
I contribute to every work and my world very positively, meaningfully.

[100 days of gratitude] Days 9: what a learning?!

As I wind up a year and set foot on another year, as I wind up a decade and set foot on another, I am thankful for all the greatness and humiliation I received over the year and decade.

In terms of blessings and what I have received, this decade has been excellent. I began 2010 on very very uncertain terms. 2yrs after losing Josh, completely devastated with the treatment conditions and verdict- it was the crucially testing phase- of my mettle, my resilience, my worth and our  relationship. I wouldn't have believed in my reproduction, had someone told me this in 2010. The change of minds and the changing circumstances were all miraculous. We all change and we all learn. As harsh as it has been, life is good and the wisdom I gained are unparalleled.

This year has been a different high and low. Lots of loots and loss. I survived. My biggest treasure from this year are the relationship lessons I learnt, the mindfulness practice sessions, and the mentor I have gained. Shall cherish them.

Have to learn to get along with people more grounded in heart, and learn to live simply well. I love and respect myself more. I am worthy of success and love and respect. I am forgiving of people and myself. I am a lovely being, with an incredible love and zest for life. I am growing spiritually. I am a leader.