For a few days, I have been consistently picky and kutta has been consistently resistant to the extent that I was worried that he would never prefer me. After the phone call with Wik, I was surprisingly kind with the mistakes on the question paper. Kutta was his kindest best too. Realise that love always paves way for beautiful bonding.
to learn: Love has no limits, it can never make anybody worse
Something very peculiar about the past couple of days. We had the big meeting (clinic prior to the grant submission) today. Have been working on this since Oct 2023, so think I have really chased to get all relevant inputs from the collaborator. After the meeting with IE ED on Tuesday, thought we got a lot of feedback. Worked on it diligently - in hardly 2 days, we have really worked hard to get all the required inputs. Was confident yesterday.
But, since wed night, have been off - picking up on the kutty for every simple small thing and he has been crying continuously this week. Yesterday was worse. We played yesterday, but felt that he was being unnecessarily adamant and he might get hurt soon. This morning, very unusually, received a call from school that he is hurt while playing.
Despite all the best efforts, I had a very naggingly crazy feeling that today will not be good. Have felt very quizzy internally. Tried distracting myself, to no avail. Even while singing Sivapuranam, the feeling was very prominent. Despite presenting the case very strongly, we were asked to come back to the clinic again.
Should I be happy or worried about this premonition. I don't know
Recently, this inner voice wins against all logic.
வா வா என்ற என்னுடைய குழந்தை அழைப்பில்
மழலையாய் வந்தாய்
அம்மாவிலிருந்து ஆசான் வரை உறவுகள் தந்தாய்
பாடமாய் மதிப்பெண்களாய் பாரமானாய்,
பழுவாய் இழுத்து வந்து உன்னைப் பழிக்கையில்
நீ கூறிய கதைகளால் இரக்கம் பெற்றாய்:
மெல்ல என் காதலியானாய்:
மெய் உணர்த்தி, உயிரூட்டி
உயிரும் மெய்யுமாய்,
மெய்யும் உயிருமாய்!
கிறக்கத்தில்,
உன்னை முற்றிலும் அறிய முற்பட்டேன்:
நீயோ, முதலும் முடிவும் இல்லாது,
‘ஏலே’ முதல் ‘ஏனுங்க’ வரை,
சமணம் முதல் கணினி வரை,
அனைத்துக்கும் முகவரியாய் இருக்கிறாய்!
சட்டங்களுக்குள் ஒளித்து
வைக்க முயல்பவர்களுக்குப்
பழிப்புக் காட்டி
என் சுதந்திரமானாய்!
