Paati's arrival in here and the times we spent together were brief, but profound.
I had always held her with high admiration. I first met her in 1995, when we were both XII Std students. In the math tuition in the house of AK, located in the narrow lane behind the railway tracks. As a kid lacking confidence, I assumed everybody was well placed intellectually - but, I did talk a lot during those times. Paati was one of those unassuming girls who struck a lovely conversation with me. She would glide in her Sunny, much like Kisu. I had not even learnt the art of riding a bicycle - so everyone of them was awe inspiring to me. I remember admiring her confidence, her teeth and her charming smile. When she smiled, she smiled with her face that glowed from her soul.
Then we lost tracks, although Kisu continuously kept in contact. We became FB friends in 2011/12, when I texted Paati with admiration. Once when I posted excerpts from books on FB for a brief period of time, Paati got hooked. I still remember her commenting about the similarity of our choices, esp when I quoted, "The God of Small Things". Then, I read snippets of little Ara and her conversations with the baby. Smitten.
Kisu kept quoting Paati once a while. When I was lost in my world of tribulations, Paati had apparently gone through hell. When Paati published her book during the pandemic, Kisu referred me for a poetry session - and it was so beautiful to reconnect. This poem on diary was written to be read at one of her sessions for the then published book rain diary. I also got an opportunity to rave about Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni and her book 'Before we visit the Goddess'. What began as a 3 min discussion on the book extended to about 10min.
Since then, we have had very fragmented conversations - mostly one way, as I responded to her blogposts and such. Early this year, we had a short phone call on starting the Calm Pages Club. Although we met sporadically, I was apprehensive about my fit in the group and was always a tad bit hesitant, although my intent was to gel with the group - a group of women, who read and cherish life for what it is!
In Aug 2025, we were collating prompts and were planning the book. One Friday, Paati pinged me with a short text seeking help. I was brimming - what pleasure to help. Understood through calls that she would be traveling to Sg the following week and sought help with the trip plans. What a pleasure?! And we met that Saturday, Sep 5. Her cousin dropped her at our place and we began our chats. We made 1000 plans for the Sunday, before her conference in the evening. She was to leave home on Monday evening.
She was like the wizard with an invisible cloak and wand who granted everyone of Kutta’s secret wishes. The air of ease with which she held her repute while accommodating Kutta’s umpteen fancies was a delight to watch. While she had just entered home, Kutta nagged to be taken to the playground. There was an understanding nod and admission of his nag. He left hastily with a meek hello. When he returned home, he was greeted to the lovely wall portraits of the bird photographs. The kingfisher and the Himalayan Monal. In a wink of the eye, he brought down his frame of bird feathers and replaced it with the Monal. She immediately called her SW, a testimony of the reverence to the masterpiece. The style with which she brought the bubble wrapped frames into the home itself was a sight to behold! Only some people could unleash this ability to hook our admiration for every single move of theirs, whatever little they do - in style. In elegance. In the internalised respect they render to the being. Rajnikanth. Paati. Although I am not a fan of the former because I haven’t met him close personally, I am indeed an admirer of the latter.
We had our dinner and gently obeyed every request of Kutta. On to the rooftop garden. She was thrilled to see her younger version in Kutta, as he cycled around the garden to build the community of planters. She exhumed warmth and joy in the simplest acts. That added a new dimension of profundity. In a world that always sees beyond and is ever hungry for more, here is the rare ability to add meaning to the gaps - the in-betweens. The courage and assertiveness with which to hold fort - all the conformism be damned! She then suggested going around for a little shopping. I was smitten by the tiny stuff that drew her attention - SE Asian noodles, some yoghurt, and the likes. She suggested we go on a walk. We hit the 24 hr McDonalds and munched on fries, ice cream and junk - giving in to simple pleasures. Returned home late to her claiming, “Look Kutta! Just like that we have stayed awake late into the night. And have gone on a long walk”. That’s when I even realise the levitation - a chance encounter request was so formidably, adorably granted.
After a restful night, we woke up in the morning and she demanded a house tour - an unusual request in the house. She went through the Lego displays and with great intent and enthusiasm, asked several question - what a rare encouragement for a rare passion?! Although averse to furry animal, she entertained Kutta’s love for the hamster.
We took a trip to the NLB. The excitedly animated Paati almost squealed in delight looking at the ocean of books. Picked up 'The Book of Form of Happiness' on her recommendation. She suggested we go to pick a pair of Sketchers. On the way, we stopped by Tim Horton's as the diva pampered herself to the simple Cappucino. Little did I know that that was going to banish the lines that mark our boundaries. Only a few people can carry themselves in a vulnerable dignity - she embodied that in style as she shared anecdotes that let me sneak into the secret chamber of the unbridled gash. A vulnerable dignity that screams, "I trust you to my nirvana" and silently emboldens the listener to uncover themself. What a phenomenal moment that was. A beautiful moment that will be stashed in my trust memory.
Post this, we did visit the Sketchers, picked a pair of unusual beige shoes for her and returned home. Surprised to see Kutta awaiting at the lift threshold in his kutty bike to lead us home. Unceremoniously, out of the customary, he was holding his hunger to share the meal with his most favourite paati. I am immensely grateful for that love. For building that embracing love with a otherwise hesitant, otherwise not so intimate 11-year old.
As the father-son duo were busy watching a movie, we sneaked into the bedroom. And continued to unravel our most vulnerable moments, tearing up for each other, holding each other, hugging each other, respecting each other - the profound moment of humane unearthing.
And we continued to roam together - feeling like Adam and Eve before the discovery of their nakedness, holding eather's heart carefully, most tenderly, as the most valuable treasure they are meant to be!
Heres a rejoicingly tearful cheers for many years of this upholding. Love you, Paati!
