மரி என்கிற ஆட்டுக்குட்டி

சிறுகதைத் தொகுப்பு 

ஆசிரியர்: பிரபஞ்சன் 

மயிலிறகால் வருடும் சிறுகதைகள். ப்ரபஞ்சனுடைய சொற்களைக் கடன் வாங்கி சொல்வதானால் , "மழைக்காற்று மாதிரி நிலைபெற்றுப் போன குளிர்ச்சி'. 

22 சிறுகதைகள். என்ன எழுத்துக்கள்? எங்கும் வியாபித்திருக்கும் எதிர்மறை கருத்துக்கள்/நிகழ்வுகளுக்கு மத்தியில், ஒரு மனிதனால் இவ்வளவு முத்துக்களை எழுத முடிந்தது என்பதே மிகவும் ஆச்சர்யம்.  எனக்கே நினைவுக்கூர்வதற்காக என்னை மிகவும் மிகவும் ஈர்த்த 5 சிறுகதைகளை மட்டும் சுருக்கமாக எழுத விழைகிறேன். Just adding a brief summary here, will edit in detail later.

• அந்த மனிதர்: சிறிய ஹோட்டல் உரிமையாளர் அப்பா. பள்ளி மாணவன். தோழர்கள் மௌத் ஆர்கன்  வாங்கி, பழகி, தெருவில் இருக்கும் ஒரே பெண்ணை ஈர்க்க, தனக்கும் ஒரு மௌத் ஆர்கன் வேண்டும் என்பதால் அப்பாவிடம் கேட்கிறான் -தயங்கி, தயங்கி. இந்த இடத்திலேயே, அந்த சிறுவனுக்கும், அப்பாவுக்குமான உறவினை நுட்பமாக வெளிப்படுத்துகிறார். பையன் தன்னை அவமானப்படுத்தியப்பின்பும் சிறிதும் வெறுப்படையாமல் அவனை செயலால் மன்னிக்கும் தகப்பன்.
• வாசனை: எதிர்த்தவீட்டு மாமி, புல்லின் விவரணை. 
• அபஸ்வரம்; நண்பனின் துரோகத்திற்குப் பின்பும் அவனது மனைவியை மரியாதையாக, பழைய உறவை கலைக்காமல் பாலம் அமைத்தப்பாங்கு.
• அப்பாவுக்குத் தெரியும்: தங்கையின் மகளை, தன் வீட்டில் சகல சுதந்திரமும் கொடுத்து, அவளுக்கு நிராகரிக்கும் உரிமையும் அளித்து, without enforcing obligated gratitude, அவளை மதிக்கும் ஓர் குடும்பம்.
• அமரத்துவம் -பள்ளித்தலம் அமைத்துப் பெற்ற மகளைப் பறிகொடுத்தார் பின்னும் அசராமல் பள்ளி நடத்தின ஆசிரியர்.

பாவத்தின் சம்பளம்-சரவணன் சந்திரன்

An assortment of the complexities of human relationships and  systems. The narrations can be finely divided into 2 broad categories-before and after sin. The thread that weaves through all these individual incidents is that every act of human is motivated by perceptions-either for the good or bad. The parents who abandoned their young children in an orphanage, perceiving that they could not provide better lives for their kids, and wanting to reunite with them as adults; the seth from Bombay that perceives balanced life between his wives, but goes berserk at the loss of his son; the cine artist that falls a prey to a second class life, perceiving an escape from the boundaryless greed of her parents, the son with a 'B' ring that goes in search of his father as an adult: All these exposes the vulnerability of a child in the hands of irresponsible parent(s)-and their evident ruin. I've always been intrigued by perceptions and how they make or break-and this book was a perfect fodder to the multidimensional effects of perceptions.

Although I believe that thoughts have a strong influence on one's way of life (பெருமைக்கும் ஏணை சிறுமைக்கும் தத்தம் கருமமே கட்டளைக் கல்), I still find it hard to believe that there are after effects of committing a sin itself -that the capitalists are still surviving and managing to play big roles in the world is a proof-on a broad plane. That the unexposed child molesters, who were from one's own family and friends, are living big happy lives is a proof- on a narrow plane.

The uniqueness of Saravanan Chandran's writing is his ability to convey a life story through unnamed characters. In most of the narrations, there's a 'they were brought to me', 'the incident was brought to my notoce', 'we decided to help' etc-and in most cases, the narrator goes out of the way to help the requestor-these stirs a curiosity about the narrator and his profile.

சுபிட்ச முருகன்

சுபிட்ச முருகன்: 'நான்' அழியும் வழியும், அழிவதற்கான வலிகளும்! A book of symbolisms. 

கையிலிருக்கும் வெண்ணையை அலட்சியப்படுத்திவிட்டு ஆசைகளுக்குத்தீனி போட ஆரம்பித்து அழிவை நோக்கி நகர்வோம் என்ற புத்தரின் வாக்கை காட்சிப்படுத்தி, பின் அதிலிருந்து விடுபட்டு, கைவிட்ட வெண்ணையைக் கைகொள்ள ஊனை உருக்கி, தன்னை உணர்ந்து, மெய்யை அறிந்து உருக வேண்டிய அவசியத்தை நிதர்சனமாக, நிர்வாணமாக பதிகிறது. பல இடங்களில் “Alchemist” புத்தகத்தை நினைவு கூர்ந்தேன்.

கதை நெடுக அடையாளங்கள். Although the first part is presented through அருவருக்கத்தக்க mortal sexual desires, it could also symbolize ANY HUMAN desire- power, greed, wealth and the so many, so many ugly ways man takes to satisfy these desires. நான்கு மதங்களின் அடையாளங்கள் கண்டேன் - ஆட்டுக்குட்டியை கையிலேந்தி நிற்கும் ஆடை கிழிந்த அவன், முருகனை தரிசிக்க மலை நோக்கி நடக்கும் பாதயாத்திரிகள், தர்காவில் மதுரை மீனாக்ஷி அம்மன் கோவில் போக சொல்லல், மற்றும் கதை நெடுக கூடவே பயணிக்கும் புத்தர். எல்லாம் ஒன்றே பரம்பொருளே என! பாவத்தின் நீட்சிகளாக பாம்பும், நாயும். இன்னும் பல. 

எழுத்தாளன் சரவணன் சந்திரனை புத்தகம் முழுக்க எங்கும் காணவில்லை. இதற்கு முன்பு, நான் அவருடைய வாழ்வியல் கதைகளையே வாசித்துள்ளேன். தூக்கம் இழந்துள்ளேன். இந்த புத்தகம் ஆரம்பிக்கும் தளத்தைக் கொண்டு மீண்டும் தூக்கம் இழக்க நேரிடும் என நினைத்தேன். அனால், இறுதியில் பேரமைதி – எதுவாகவோ, அதுவாகவே! This is what all meditation techniques preach – to accept life as is! எதுவாகவோ, அதுவாகவே! 

பெருங்கதைக்குள் கிளைக்கதைகளைக் கோர்க்கும் கைவண்ணம் கூடி வந்திருக்கிறது – வேர்க்கதையின் ரசம் குறையாமல். போகிறபோக்கில் கோவில்களில் பெண்களைத் தொந்தரவு செய்பவர்களின் தந்திர யுக்திகளும், சிறுவயதில் காணும் காட்சிகளின் சுவடுகளும், வார்த்தைகள் ஏற்படுத்தும் ரணங்களும், தீண்டாமையின் தாக்கமும் கிளைக்கதைகளின் வாயிலாக தீண்டபட்டுள்ளன.  

Personally, for me, it has come at a right time – when I am quieting my’self’ after a hiatus of anxiety and stress. And the book did make me cry – esp., to know the cost of losing “myself”. But, no success is worth its salt without the arduous journey, and its comforting to know every cow has its own. உழுகிற மாட்டுக்கு ஒரு வலின்னா, கரவமாட்டுக்கு வேற வலி.

Tooth Fairy - Too Early?!

This morning, as we brushed teeth, Bloom complained about a discomfort. When I felt his lower middle incisor - obviously, the incisor in the front middle left was shaking. Much to my shocking surprise!! OH, my boy is growing up!

He could not contain his excitement, either. He went around announcing the shaking teeth.

So, ladies and gentleman, The tooth fairy is visiting us soon. Much too soon, I know - cannot comprehend that he is growing up - much too fast to my liking.

Whimsical 2

We were discussing about buying a bookshelf. He was playing around, without engaging in the discussion. I found a decent bookshelf from IKEA at S$2xx. He immediately went on to converse:

Can we afford S$2xx? Yes.
Can we buy it? Yes
But do we really want it? No, it's a waste of money. 

And continued to play, the gubber
    

What really matters!

Splendid Picnic

A bright morning
Out of the large barning
The friends planned a picnic:
Numbers, colours and shapes
They reached their spot:
The most beautiful park, not so hot
-With a huge lake.
What a lovely break:
To be surrounded by lush green grass,
Flowery plants and many a sass

As they had fun
Under the warm sun,
Numbers were very excited
And sang as the others too were delighted:
Count with us,
Add among us, Subtract from us,
Multiply with us, Divide by us,
We will still be us!
Measure with us:
Solid, liquid or gas;
Length, volume or distance
We are real, also imaginary;
We are abstract, also explanatory
We are the quantity, we are everywhere!

Enamoured by the pep
The shapes began beating to the step:
We are shapes, we are shapes:
Roll-and-roll circles
Roll-and-stall ovals
Stay flat and stable rectangles and squares
Roof of tower triangles, pentagons and septagons
Honeycomb hexagons and octagons
Few or many sides we have:
With many, many, many sides, we go round and round circling around.

Colours joined the band
Also with a gracious move on the sand:
Infectious shakes
Spreading many a tiny sand flakes.
It was a splendid display
Of colours in an array,
Mesmerizing everyone around:
The leaves on the trees and ground,
The birds fluttered their wings and stayed,
The moving clouds swayed:
The puffy cumulus clouds,
Sheets of stratus clouds,
And thin and wispy cirrus clouds
-All of which are Ice crystals's abode.

There was heavy exchange of water,
The winds grew fatter.
The winds blew stronger with the gig,
Notwithstanding, the clouds began to cry big:
One two and then many drops, it began to rain
Rained and rained, until the colours started to drain
They veered, weared and teared,
Many a hauling and teared:
Bits of their parts strewn around
To be washed by the rains, as they lay on ground.

Shapes came to their rescue:
Rectangles and squares for a cover,
And Triangles for the tower
They set a stage,
The rains not on gauge.
Few minutes passed,
They sang, danced and jazzed
Curiosity stirred
The winds whirred,
As the clouds jammed
To peep through the doors slammed
Earth began to tremble
With the lightning glares and thundering scramble,
Leaving lives at a gamble.

Now, the colors raised a plea
To make merry and glee:
“Dear clouds, Our strewn pieces behold,
And let Earth in peace”, their hands held in a fold.
The wind flew the strewn pieces onto the sky
For everyone to view them on the high.
Oh, what a splendid display:
A rainbow with the colors interplay.
They stayed there, under the clouds buried
And lined up, whenever the winds were furied.

Inspiration and Dutifulness

He goes on roadtrips,
For many a upping kips and pleasant sips:
(Kips) In faroff hills, neighboring plains and vibrant places
(Sips) Of exciting beverages, history and soothing graces.

Graces he beholds: of beauty, nature and fortitude,
Among the multitude and amidst solitude;
As he stood invigorated by Goa and it's beaches,
He was bothered by the rampant filth and accumulated drosses

Drosses that kindled his spirits enthusiastic:
He handpicked them: inorganics, and plastics
To clear off the litters and keep off the clogs:
An unexpectant act of dutifulness - a rarity in this world of FB and blogs
Take a bow, take a bow
My respects a few notches above!

Umasey Constellation

-22Aug2017 (3yrs, 5months)

When Breath becomes Air

Author: Paul kalanidhi

Oh, what a mind bloooowwwing book!!

The book accounts the details of a Neuroscientist from his childhood in a countryside suburb (Oh, what fun it is to grow up in the countryside, with lush greenery, hills and valleys, amidst strange creatures and water and snakes - the episode where Paul and his brother catch a snake in their pillow case is a shrill thrill!), to his graceful acceptance of the inevitable. And what a ride it is, man! The confusions, the perils, the decisions - the toughest decisions are the decisions we take for the others. 

The afterword from his wife, Lucy Kalanithi is a fitting end to the book - an account of Paul's last moments that I read and re-read several times. Although unfortunate, it is so warming to see a family stand by a man - a very successful man- in the face of adversity.

I am sure I will go back reading the book several times. This will be in my list of go to book of wisdom. 

I am still digesting the book, may write in detail at a later point in time.

Sunday

Have been fighting some thoughts, specifically on being ignored by a couple, since a couple of weeks. After whining and cribbing for a while, I had struggled to stifle the thoughts yesterday. This morning, as I woke up, the thoughts rise within. Tried ignoring and then tried to brush it off - tried telling it to go away- nothing helped. 

Sunday mornings are usually crowded with activities - Wake up by 830-9AM, cook pancake for Bloom (Egg+milk+sugar). As he eats his breakfast, I prepare his lunch. We then leave for the pool by 1015-1030. As his classes begin at 11AM, I also get into the pool, and try myself with swimming. Today was different - didn't get into the pool in the beginning. Sat alone in the poolside, for lack of company to swim within. 

The thoughts were crippling - I had earlier showed a tinge of outburst to my son. As I sat there, I closed my eyes for a couple of moments. Everything else faded away, except for a 'I like to move it, move it..' being sung by a boy in the pool. Nothing else was heard. That's when I realized the power of just closing eyes. As I sat there with closed eyes, thoughtless and mindful, I saw a bright light pervading inside me. And suddenly, there was much peace! Since then, there is no looking back. I will grow independent - emotionally strong, forgiving and happy, peaceful. I will grow into a happy being.. I am seeing it already.

Today was our time, and we had splendid time. We will grow together - stronger and braver inside. We will grow into lovely, happy beings.

Horse

As the pauper wandered in wilderness,
He sought eagerly for togetherness;
A brown horse with a proud mane,
He befriended it to keep him sane.
He tamed the wild horse
And prepared it for a race;
Fed it from dawn to supper
For it was his only sign of prosper.
Winning was all it dreamt,
Notwithstanding its trainers impact;
A wonderful racing stint it held
Despite many a spelling bled,
He prospered with every win,
And nourished all his kith and kin.
Prosperity begot greed,
Unfathomable of a failing deed.
The futility of its' runs the horse realized,
The lame, dumb horse that was nearly paralyzed,
'Its my time to return to the wild', the horse exclaimed,
'You're greedy and disloyal', the pauper proclaimed
'Unfair and ruthless,
All my training meaningless!',
The greedy pauper bemoans.
Indeed unfair and ruthless to the horse's groans!!

Hunger

There are two dogs in my father's home. One guarding at the front gates, and one guarding the backyard. They are almost always tied to a pole, and food dumped into their bowls every afternoon. They are fierce to strangers - and can pounce with such aggression. As my visits are sporadic, we are considered strangers too.

That day, the entire family set out for a trip. As we left early in the morning, my mom prepared the dogs food, placed it in a covered vessel and left it out - informing Gangakka to share the food between the two dogs a little later. This is to ensure that the dogs are fed at adequate intervals, so that they don't stay hungry till our return. 

We realized on return that night that the dog in the backyard had untied itself from the pole (which is actually a tree), and was fiercely barking. There's a short gate separating at the mid yard, and the poor guy couldn't get over it. I peeked above the gate, and saw such fury in his eyes. Such fury: aggressive, uncontrollable, and fierce - a nightmare to deal with. Already having a good acquaintance with him, my mom braved to get him under control - to tie him back onto the pole. The dog was the object of condemnation - he got severely chastised for his behavior. 

After successfully tying him at his abode, mom returned to only note that Gangakka had not served either of the dogs any food. Mom again braved to pick his bowl and serve his food. On a subsequent observation to serve another bowl of food , he was calm - quiet as a breeze. His eyes as cool as the lake waters.

The following days, I was treated with a new found respect and a fresh fondness. 

Hunger is a menace. Hunger exhibits fierce. We are all subservient to hunger, just like the dog. It also includes hunger for food, knowledge, approvals, love, people and passion, among others.

Survival

Century 1...

In the zigzag of forests,

Navigated to his whims, following noises

Nourished by Cresses and Carcasses

Good health was his asset

He feared and worshipped nature;

Cared for none, or cared for all,

Communcal gatherings: An everyday affair

-Sing, dance, sleep and live well.

Century 20....

Inundated by rules,

He Navigates through harrowing lanes:

Nourished by false prides and bills

Good health being his biggest wish

He clears and ignores nature

Cares for, but only "his"

Social gatherings: A reserved occasion

-Planned, targeted and earned.

Survival it was then, Survival it is now;

Differing by what, when, who and how?

Oh, yes, we have evolved

Adding layers of garments

To cover every true selves;

Enabling communications across oceans,

Silencing our inner voices

-Nov 7, 2018