The journey continues….
As the two great Indian epics were introduced to me, I was captivated by the Mahabharata. When I explored for the reason, I realised that it was because of the tight screenplay. For those of us who has read/watched Mahabharata in its full course know that the story comes full circle with every one of them paying for their deeds (including the Pandavas), even after two generations. Although I was introduced to Silappathikaram, I had little understanding of its underlying nuances. The association with Athipathi International and my involvement in Silapathikaram has been a phenomenal learning journey for me. There has been new revelations week after week, with various layers being unveiled consistently. I have been witnessing a lifeless script come to life before my eyes. Based on my understanding and observations today, I see the play is no less than the Mahabharatam. I am in awe of a script that connect every ends together into a package. There is a reference to trees in one scene. While we stand perplexed about its context, the answer to this is revealed in another scene. There is a reference to a song in one scene, the same song has a distinct effect in another. Only someone who has got themselves so involved into the story can package it so beautifully. Thank you very much Pugal, for this wonderful script and for giving the opportunity to listen to you sharing the beauty so profoundly, in first person.
Although it is the writer/director’s script, the actors are adding new dimensions to the play week after week, performance after performance. Like so many of us have shared earlier, the characters get enhanced through the various perspectives given to it by the actors. Every one of the actor is indeed carving themself week after week, working upon the inputs received from the director and mentors. I defer from naming anyone today - but I can see the play getting sharper and sharper, with mind-blowing dancing (wow! How elegant in one and how powerfully destructive in another and singing performances).
As of today, the warm up session was very very impactful. I could feel the energy after the session. There was an all-encompassing peace and silence within me and I didn’t even want to talk to anyone. I didn’t hear anything that was happening around me, and there was not even any internal conversations. Is this true meditation? I don’t even want to name it. Thank you for the session - I wish and hope that we have this before every performance (I have made a personal request to Nesh too). I could feel the difference within me when I went on stage with this inside-out quietness Vs without this. The learning for me was that knowing the script allows us to deliver dialogues, understanding the script helps us to contextualise better and feeling the character without allowing our self to interfere with it allows the character to play its role, without the actor influencing it.
I am very much looking forward to the upcoming week. I cannot thank each one involved enough for being so kind. I have always felt like a child standing by the shores, waiting for the waves. Every time, I have received the right waves to enrich my soul and my introduction and connection with Athipathi is a recent wave.
Personally, I was a bit sad that today is the last rehearsal at Blk 511/Clementi for Silapathikaram, but was surprised when Nesh told that the real rehearsal begins only later.
As I relook at my experience, I am very very enriched through the journey. First off, I had a contentment with our first table reading with the two rockstars - Ambika and Nesh. Only later did I realise that on-stage performance is much more than reading dialogues :-). This journey also gave me the opportunity to explore and have dialogues within myself. Like I mentioned today, I had been wondering how to emote graceful love. I held on to this question, until I realised that one cannot emote love, only embody it. Then I asked the question, if humans embody love, why are there conflicts, negative emotions etc. I got boredom as an answer for this. Let me explain. I began learning Thiruvasagam starting with Sivapuranam (since Feb, after the rehearsals began). Initially, as I sang along with the audio, I was fascinated by the depth and meaning of the lyrics. The lyrics kept on playing in my head, and I kept referring to the lyrics at uneven intervals. I diligently played the audio every morning and sang along with it. Until one day the lyrics had magically set in my mind. Without much effort, it has been etched in my memory. Now, I tend to just sing whenever possible and my mind seeks other things. Familiarity has bred boredom and the mind seeks other things to walk away from this boredom. By nature, we all are born as love, we all embody love (That’s why a baby is such a joy to an adult). But as we grow, we seek things beyond ourselves, as the familiarity of our loving self sounds boring. The mind looks for things it is not - that’s why it seeks conflicts as a means of entertainment? As choices for conflicts are aplenty, it keeps shuttling between conflicts until it is completely convinced that this is a futile experience. This conviction takes a longer time as it rides on every opportunity of conflicts it encounters. For most of us, this conviction never really rises. Although some of us may realise this at some point or other, most don’t internalise this.
Then, I realise that this is the consequence of our boredom.