தேடிய கோணங்கள்

ஒரு அழகான ஞாயிறு மதியம்
அவர்கள் ஐவராய்க் கடற்கரைக்கு வந்தார்கள்:

முதலாமாவனுக்குச் சிப்பிகளின் மீது காதல்:
கடற்கரை மணலைத் தோண்டி, கிளறி,
அழகழகான, வழுவழுப்பான, நிறம்நிறமான
சிப்பிகளைத் தேடிப் பொறுக்கினான்.

இரண்டாமவனுக்கு அலைகளின் ஆர்ப்பரிப்பு மிகவும் விருப்பம்:
கரையில் நின்று அவை எழும்புவதும், அடங்குவதுமான
அழகை ரசித்து, அவைகளைத் துரத்திப் பிடித்து,
அவைகளின் ஓயாத உழைப்பை சிலாகித்தான்.

மூன்றாமவனுக்கு ஆழ்கடலின் அமைதியில் நாட்டம்:
கடலும் வானமும் சங்கமிக்கும் பேரழகுக் காட்சியும்,
கடல் தன்னுள் வியாபித்துள்ள உயிர்களையும்,
அவைகளின் திறந்த, பரந்த பக்குவத்தையும் மெச்சினான்.

நான்காமவனுக்குக் கடலை சுற்றியுள்ள வியாபாரம் மீது ஆச்சரியம்:
சுண்டல், மீன் வறுவல், அப்பளம், பஞ்சுமிட்டாய், பொம்மை விற்போர்;
மீன் பிடிப்போர், வலைப் பின்னுவோர், கடற்கரை மகிழ்விளையாட்டு என
ஓரு கடலையும், அதன் பேரலையையும், சுற்றி எவ்வளவு வாழ்வாதாரம்?

ஐந்தாமவனுக்கோ வந்திலிருந்துத் துர்நாற்றம் தாங்கமுடியவில்லை:
கடலின் கொந்தளிப்பு, அலைகளின் பேரிரைச்சல்,
ஒயாத வெயில், சுற்றியுள்ள மக்களின் கூச்சல் என
அருவருப்பைத் தூண்ட, கைகடிகாரத்தைத் மீண்டும் மீண்டும் பார்த்துக்கொண்டிருந்தான்.

ஒரே கடலில்,
ஒவ்வொருவரும் தாங்கள் தேடியதையே கண்டார்கள்-
எனில், அவர்கள் அக்கடலை தங்கள் கோணங்களுக்குள் அடக்கினார்கள்,
தனியொரு மனிதனைப் பற்றிய நம் தீர்ப்புகளைப் போல்!
கடல் என்ற பரந்த வெளியை அடக்க முடியுமோ?!
மனிதர்களைப் பற்றிய நம் தீர்ப்புகளும் தீர்வுகள் ஆகுமோ?!
-Dec 15,2021

Whimsical 11: Imperfect allowances

The week was very hectic- worked through the weekend, worked through the day and it was work, work, more work.

I casually mentioned that it is stressful, and I am finding it difficult to focus. he pulled me aside: This is why I tell you, you should take a break once a while. Come, play with me and relax yourself. If you are stressed, you can't focus and that will affect your performance. If you relax once in a while, you will be able to focus and perform very well in your exam. You will score 98!

I beamed ear to ear, and asked, what happened to the remaining 2. Quick came the reply: Nobody is perfect, there are allowances for imperfection!

The woman who cannot be defeated. Pain has no power.

 https://twitter.com/DrNadiaChaudhri

Strong and warm embrace

 As I sat
Staring inwards 
At the immeasurable infinity,
There was light,
For God found light is good
And filled me with light:
Bright and scilliant,
With dark spots
Of unhealed parts.
We continued:
God and I staring 
Into each other
Embracing my being
Strong and warm.
No exchange of words:
For words are for the physical world,
We continued to stare
No outcomes, no improvements:
 They are for the physical world.
The brightness alluded
To more brightness
And a warmer, stronger embrace,
What an impeccable joy
To be engulfed in love,
Alongwith the dark spots!

வள்ளல் உலகு

 நானும் அவனும் கடற்கரைக்குச் சென்றோம்:

அவன் ஒரு நத்தைப் பிடித்தான்,

நான் சில சிப்பிகள் பொருக்கினேன்.

நானும் அவனும் தோட்டம் சென்றோம்:

அவன் ஒரு இளநீர் அருந்தினான்,

நான் ஒரு கொய்யா உண்டேன்.

நானும் அவனும் பாராசூட்டில் பறந்தோம்:

அவன் பறவையைக் கண்டு குதூகலித்தான்,

நான் வானத்தின் வண்ணங்களைக் கண்டு மெய்சிலிர்த்தேன்.

நானும் அவனும் ஒரு படம் பார்த்தோம்:

அவன் அதன் ஓர் காட்சியை உள்வாங்கி வரைந்தான்,

நான் அதன் ஒரு உரையாடலில் குறிப்பிடப்பட்ட புத்தகத்தைப் படித்தேன்.

நானும் அவனும் மொட்டைமாடியில் உலவினோம்:

அவன் இரவின் நிசப்தத்தை சுவாசித்தான்,

நான் இருளின் ஒளியை சிலாகித்தேன்.

நானும் அவனும் தனித்தனி,

எங்கள் தேடல்கள் வெவ்வேறு,

எனினும், எல்லா சூழ்நிலையிலும்...

அவரவருக்கானவைகளை அருளிக் கொண்டே இருக்கிறது

விந்தைமிகு வள்ளலான இவ்வுலகு!

- 21/08/2021

Temperance

I observed a little turtle,
Swimming through still waters
Making small ripples;
Moving half-an-inch at a time,
Swallowing the water gliders 
That came along its course;

I observed a busy bee
Buzzing around the green grass:
Fearless and feisty,
Swishing past giant humans
Drawing nectar as it flew,
One flower at a time.

I was startled by a Monitor Lizard
Leaping down from a tree
Dragging its heavy body,
Across the grass
Plunging into the waters:
Not threatening the little subjects around;

I observe the little pigeons
Pecking at the ground
For tiny worms and mealbugs
Scourging and searching
With their tiny feet on ground
Despite their amazing flights.

I'm amazed:
I, a nobody
Perennially trying 
To be an Eternal somebody
Hopping, juggling, jumping,
Whimpering, menacing, shriveling,
With much agony and meanness;
Am amazed at the nature's bounty:
The wisdom, the temperance, the abundance.

Growing Beyond

As an infant, he was good with "drawing" alphabets- both English and Tamil. So, when I enrolled him a art class at the nearest community center, his skill showed. I maybe biased, but based on a very myopic assessment, I think this guy is good at whatever is introduced to him- he has that 'I will do it wholly involved' attitude. And so he gets good at whatever he is being introduced to. So he got hooked up with the art class, and his art got better with time. 

One year around, he started dabbling- again! As I kept on chiding him on his lacklustre and his divided attention during the class ( the class had a bunch of kids, and he had a good company with friends. They were competing to finish and pick up the slate to doodle something silly. Irked by my continuous chiding, when I asked if he would like to discontinue, he agreed to. 

3months came the covid CB. Bored about setting up various forms of Lego- lego zoo and Lego underwater world, he picked up drawing. And boy, he drew. Like no other!

Earlier, I observed his swimming skills, as he grew beyond his fears and inhibitions.

Whimsical 10: mind conversation

Today, dada went to Little India and got jilabis for Kutta. He woke up around 12 noon, had lunch and ate a jilabi. In the evening, as we were binge watching, I complained, "paaruda, unaku Mattum jilabi vaangitu vandhrrukaanga, enaku onnum vaangala". He reasoned, "aamma, naan ketaenma, athaan vaangitu vandhaanga. Unaku venumna solli vitruklaamla. Unaku Enna venumnu avangaluku epdi theriyum". I said, " enda, ithana varusham sernthey thaana irukom. Enaku Enna pidikum nu kooda theriyaatha. Enaku vaangitu varala. Paaru, ennaiya pidikaathu". Immediately, without a thought he conditioned me with "Amma, un mind panra first trick ithu thaan. Don't fall for this trick". Much to my grinning delight.

Education system in TN

ஆங்கிலவழியோ, தாய்மொழிவழியோ, நம் கல்விமுறை ஆராய்ச்சிக்கு உகந்ததாக இல்லை. நம்முள் அந்த ஆர்வத்தை உண்டாக்க பெற்றோர்களும் முயல்வதில்லை. ஆராய்ச்சிக்கான அடிப்படை தேவை கேள்வி கேட்டல். ஆனால் நம் கல்விமுறை நம்மை கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் சொல்பவர்களாக மட்டுமே தயார்படுத்துகிறது. அடுத்து, அக்கேள்விகளைத் தொடர்ந்து போய், அதற்கான விடைகளை கண்டறிதல் மற்றும் சுயமாய் சிந்தித்தல்- நம் கல்விமுறையோ நம்மை மூச்சடைக்க நம் நேரத்தைத் தின்று குவித்து சொல்பேச்சுக் கேட்கும் திறனை மட்டுமே ஊக்குவிக்கிறது. 

அதன் அடிப்படையை ஆராய்ந்து பார்த்தால், நாம் இன்னுமே ஆங்கிலேயர்கள் அறிமுகப்படுத்திய கல்விமுறையை மே பின்பற்றுகிறோம். ஆங்கிலேயர்களோ அவர்களுக்குத் தேவையான திறன்களைத்தானே பயிற்றுவிக்க முனைந்திருப்பார்கள்? அவர்களுடைய Cambridge கல்விமுறையை (1858 ல் அதற்கான தேர்வு முறை வரையறுக்கப்பட்டுள்ளது) ஏன் இந்தியாவில் நிறுவவில்லை? ஏனெனில், அவர்கள் இந்தியாவை தங்களுக்கான உழைக்கும் சந்தையாகத்தான் பார்த்தார்கள். அதற்கு தேவையான திறன்களில் பயிற்சிக்கப்படவே நம் கல்விமுறை நிறுவப்பட்டது. நாம் இன்றளவும் அதே கவ்விமுறையைத்தழுவியே பயிற்றுவிக்கிறோம். இதனையே பின்பற்றுவோமானால், நாம் மேலைய நாடுகளின் gaps ஐ நிறப்புவோமே ஒழிய, நம்மால் என்றுமே நல்ல ஆராய்ச்சியில் கோலோச்சமுடியாது. 

மொழி ஒரு medium. கல்வியைத் தாய்மொழியில் வழங்குவதன் மூலம் நாம் புரிந்துணர்வும் அப்பாடத்தின் மீதான மற்றும் நம்மை கற்க உற்சாகமூட்டும். ஆராய்ச்சிக்கட்டுரைகளைக்கூட தாய்மொழியில் எழுதி translator tools மூலம் ஆங்கிலத்தில் மொழிப்பெயர்த்து வெளியிடலாம். முதல் தலைமுறை கற்றலில் இதனை சிந்திக்கும் நிலையில் நாம் இல்லை- ஏதோ ஒரு கல்விக்கற்று வெளியேறுவது மட்டுமே நம் நோக்கமாயிருந்ததில் குறையில்லை. இனியும் இதனைத்தொடரக்கூடாது. நம்  சூழலுக்கேற்ப ஆராய்ச்சி செய்வதற்கானத் திறனை வளர்க்கும் முறையை வரையறுக்கவேண்டும்.

Sinned and doomed

Nobody would be so faithful:
Despite the several tantrums,
Nobody would be so transparent:
To the extent of demonizing oneself,
Nobody would spend all the time
Talking and doing nothing tangible,
And yet say, it's the best time to have.
I found that raw love:
That appreciates, adores, fights and criticizes.
Yet, I 'choose' to ignore and insult:
For, joy is my forbidden fruit
For, i once sinned,
A forbidden pleasure,
A forever stink:
An unnerving, nibbling err:
The sin that sticks to me
Like another skin.
And to experience the joy of love,
Means to experience the shame of pleasure.
The impenetrable wall:
That covers me around,
I carry laboriously
Shooting out goodness.
In the well of life,
That has unending goodness,
I am doomed to pick
Only Filth and famish.

From the waves to the Beach...

You are the shore
Tender, yet steadfast:
Nourishing lives,
Enabling livelihoods;
While cradling my perennial fleets,
Bearing the garbage from my within:
My Complaints and whines,
About kids and adults,
Who witness
My aggressive rush to touch,
And more aggressive swift shy away,
From your infinitely patient hold.
You don't gasp,
You don't stammer,
You don't shiver,
'cos you know yourself.
Yet, How unfortunate:
It's always the majestic roars
The world admires,
And not the silently, steadfast patience. 

Monopoly and the many strategies

After the longest time, we sat together to play: you, me and your dad. We played a game of Monopoly. The transactional wisdom you shared during the game was phenomenal. It’s not about how much you gave to buy or how much you got, it’s about how you handled the giving and the receiving. Every single time you bought a property or paid rent (when there was an expense), you ensured that you got some cash in return. Where did you get this strategy from? And, when you realised you were trailing a little bit, you joined hands with me-collaboration! You said, “wait, let me pay for this”, taking chances between paying from my pile and yours. Thank you for being you.

Gone...Just like that - a Journey of wind waving through joy!

 You are gone
Just like that.
- no announcements,
- no bidding byes
- no visitors
Just like your many travel adventures

Are you traveling with the wind?
But, you were always the wind
Blowing gently, but swiftly:
Between academics, politics and social causes.
- A destination less, passionate travel
- A wind that fuelled the flight of the many birds

Are you traveling to the Great beyond?
But you were always beyond:
No strings attached, no boundaries
No compromises, no enforcements.
- Relentless pursuit of the beauty in the ordinary
-An Everwilling joyspreader

You are so many in one:
Constant explorer of truth,
Consistent enabler of change,
Committed empowerer,
Crusader of social-equality,
- to list a few.
Yet, you won yourself like no other:
The enormous strength in your emotionless fight
Bearing witness.

You are gone.
In a style so typically you:
No regrets, no pride.
No attachments, no bitterness.
Just the joy of leaving.

Dearest Dr

 Dearest niece

It is just like yesterday that I saw you in Dr R's lap, tutting the honey she fed you. You have grown - from being that tiny baby that we all tried to put to sleep using several methods (1hr of cradling, riding etc), the infant who wouldn't swallow that ball of rice for more than a hour, the little girl who would demand live butterflies for toys, go shopping for veggies (Munga, maanga: funnily, my masters lab technician still remembers this and checks on you citing this episode), the school girl who would wade away boring times with travel breaks, the several funny episodes from Kids Club (competing with your Science teacher's daughter), the hiccups as you moved to Tuty for high school and the stress you endured during Higher Secondary and MBBS - What a breathtaking experience it has been, to see you grow from that tiny pod to the young lass you are! If I am given a pot of your growing years and asked to pick a memory - I'd choose the one of you hanging onto my dupatta, as I took the bus, only to be bribed with Lacto King as you returned home.  

And your growth has been phenomenal - physically, professionally and experiential - more phenomenal than I would have imagined!  And I am mighty proud of the way you have grown up to be. You are at a pivotal point of your life now! All that you were, made you who you are. Given the choices, it takes consistent hard work to reach there - and you did it in style! 

Starting today, you need to make choices for yourself, for many others, and work consistently towards the choice. This can be fuzzy and quizzical for a while, just hold on and you will ace through it. Making choices is a journey, actually. For some choices, you may have to stick ground, persevere and never waiver; For some, you may have to reassess, realign with time and may have to make changes. And you need to choose these two pools wisely. Being wise needs a lot of inward search - the more you indulge in this quiet inward search, the less frustrated will you be, and more clearer will your choices be! Be driven by that inward search.

There are certain stuff that I wished I was told and informed when I was 20 - stuff I have realized while running on the mill 20 years after. I am sharing them with you, just so you don't regret not being informed, while wading through life:

 1. Stick to your principles. Grow that grit. Consistent hitting with the hammer of your principles will make you a leader in the long run! 

2. Expand your field of vision. Given a certain situation, have a wider perspective of it - zoom out and have a birds eye view, with a longer term in mind. Train yourself to just watch and have a wider perspective.

3. Defer judgement: New avenues will emerge if we just watch at emerging events/situations, without any judgement. 

4. Value yourself: For the longest time, I have misunderstood humility for willful subjection. Not worth. The whole world is driven in the pursuit of their own self, and that is NOT wrong. Always, put yourself and your principles above everybody. Value yourself, and never ever compromise your values and your worth. Don't ever allow you to be mistreated. Nobody is worth that.

5. Embrace change, always, always: Change is the most inevitable part of life - don't be hesitant to change, especially, when it is inward driven. People who really love you will stand by you regardless. the others- they will be initial complaints, but they will eventually hop onto your side, seeing the value. The world evolved, with such changes - one person, one change at a time. So, just embrace change and keep moving.

6. Ask, and the world will respond (if not oblige): If at all you need anything, ask. To whoever it is. The world is a  lot kinder than we think it to be. By asking, we have let our wish out. While the world is not obliged to provide us, we can exercise our right to ask.

7. Give freely and with open arms: Face the world with open arms, and be ever open to share your experiences, your perspectives. Worst case, give your time and lend your ears where required.

8. Modulate, and wrap it up in humour - everything!

9. There is life beyond academia: Having been with academia for a longer time, I believed that academics alone can take me beyond. But, life taught me that in the larger scheme of things, academics is a ticket, but not the vehicle/whole journey. Relish the journey.

 10. Have fun! 

Life is not a roller coaster as many people say. It is a simple connection of events, and how you respond to each isolated incident. Choose how you respond, and have lots of fun!

My very best wishes, Dr KMMV. Take good care, of yourself, and your world. Go, race! 

Lots of love as ever

Me.

But

 When we want to accomplish something, our thoughts generate a list of but, but we should walk through the but and prove our but 

Gifted

 

Movie: Gifted by Marc Webb

Platform: Netflix

Synposis: A little girl, with extraordinary math skills, is being nurtured by her maternal uncle. They share a wonderful bond – the uncle having given up his lucrative life (taking up a lowly job) to nurture this child (he doesn’t even reveal this “sacrifice” at any instant, until a stranger finds it). The ambitious parent of the uncle wants custody of the child, and the film's premise is on a custodial battle between the heart (The uncle) and the brain (the grandparent).

My take: The movie is beautiful. After a long time, I got involved in a movie and watched it. The relationship between the duo, centred around the value and beauty of the “ordinary” and the strength of human relationships – makes it all the more beautiful. The little girl fit into the role really well, and Chris Evans has made a humane role of Frank, more humane. An understanding Roberta, the very simple lives and relationships all of them share are a breeze in the world of mystery. A few scenes are worth mentioning: The conversation between Frank and Mary on the subject of faith and  God, the discussion on ‘spur-of-the-moment’ utterances, the surprise visit to reveal the joy of Mary’s birth, Frank’s tolerance to pet Fred although he is allergic to cats - are all great lessons on parenting. The screenplay may sound low, but such scenes are strong to carry the weight of the whole movie. The final message on: When it comes to an adverse condition of ensuring joy of the living, Vs honouring promises made to  the dead, it is ok to compromise the latter than the former.

A lovely movie after a very long time.

Animals are naturally compassionate. Man is an animal.

He:  "Amma, do you know that almost all the flightless birds live in New Zealand?"

Me: "Oh is it, why do you think this is so?"

He: "New Zealand is a good country that protect their people and animals very well. That's why. All countries should learn from them"

Nature and its splendid beauty

 Dropping Kutta at the Forest School, I went around the dairy farm. What a refreshing, absolutely delightful time it was! Green is indeed the color - and nature has rightfully chosen to fill the world with the color.

Productivity on Sunday

•  A Sunday spent on preparing for the upcoming lecture
• Aapam with coconut milk for breakfasst
• The happiness as he shares his pride on accomplishing is priceless (swimmimg)
  

What a wonderful day the Lord hath made!

 It was a wonderful day. Beginning with Kutta's athletics class, to which he went with his dad. He came back elated. Watched C/O Kaadhal (again!), Had methi roti for lunch, dropped Kutta to Forest school and had a long walk. The nothingness as the intent of the talk, as we walked along, was great. Observed the "cause" of anger and resolved immediately. Had never been able to spot a water stream before- now it was quite a scene!

Spotted a little snail and a slug munching on flowers on the way back.

Kutta brought home a fish that he fished with a teafilter. We transferred her to a small box as we returned home.

Made potato-cheese-burger bun for the potato crazy little boy. Caving in, giving in to little pleasures once a while is a lot of relief! I am unlearning the perfectionism!! Yay

     Tree spread across the sky gives me such a happiness. Always!

Onward to beach and beyond!

• The profound wisdom in: "I am very happy to go up, anywhere- on a tree, hill etc. But I am scared of coming down"
• Kids had a lot of fun, especially at the beach.
• Saw a snail co-living with human beings, moving through a patch of grass just beside our little settlement.
• The brief handholding
• Kutty was awesome- thank God that he is a blessing. He had fun playing in the sea water, swimming with the ball etal
•  Experienced floating platform, the effect of waves on the platform and such.
• The conversations with BP on the trip back was profound
  

What can surrender do??

What a wonderful peace to do yoganidra early in the morning- a few minutes into the practise, I feel a veil being lifted. Always. Whenever I do. It's a great relief.

And I was very confident not to het high rating this year. What a shocking surprise!! Two consecutive years. Thank God for the little big mercies- Nothing is too big, nothing is too small for the Lord. Everything is just the same! What a wonderful Lord I am preveleged to live with, but often ignore!

Again while I was hoping to connect an intern with the Colossal team, and 'my' plan failed, the Lord opened up new doors.

I feel sorry for two of my teammates- their class showed in their response. God is in control- what a wonderful way to put it!

Surrender

 In all His beauty, the Good Lord helped to transgress beyond the traditional boundaries of my conventional life. He has been a wonderfully faithful Lord, who I can rely on entirely. 

The decisions and steps we take relying on our perceptions, images and experiences are like edge computing- minimal resource and so, very distorted, lopsided, without clarity and very shortsighted. But the decisions God make for us are very farsighted, with a very clear vision etc -all it needs of us is complete submission and surrender to the wonderful Father in Heaven. I have realized this in all circumstances that He has led me beautifully and has taken me to places (in space and time) beyond my comprehension.

Trust in Him and surrender - that's the only way forward! 

'My thoughts are not your thoughts'

Love the life He bestowed and surrender!

Little Sunahines

•  What a wonderful way to spend time with Kutta after work. Fed all 3meals to him, after a very long time. 
• Realize my head has bloated beyond measure, and percolates to all parts of the body making me tired very easily
• Apologized to the girls wholeheartedly and reassured them- show vulnerability wherever possible. A new learning that dawned upon quite late.
• Speaking home to parents
• The two or more buds in the tomato plant brings great merry
• Been ~ a month since FB closure and I'm surviving. Hoping to give up on T too
• Life is a wonderful space given to us
• The fund agreement was acknowledged
• Are 7 murukkus😆

Little sunshines of life make life with living!

 

PS: Re-reading the post after publishing, spotted a few spell errors in the title and content. I am letting them be, in an attempt to grow tolerant to imperfections. 

 

Imperfections make the world beautiful, and perfecting is a process. It should not happen instantaneously.

Universe Aligns!

For the infinite time, I have experienced the universe aligning with our innocent, heartfelt desires. 

Bloom has a huge love for all the wonderful lives. He had been insistent on having pets, ever since he started nudging on growing plants. The garden idea was inspired from his love for insects. He was enthralled by the number of lives a plant/tree entices from reading the short story, "The Special Tree" by Ruskin Bond. So, one led to the other that led to the other.

It started with my giving into his plant request in June 2020- an indoor garden featuring a few ornamental plants. When they survived (very unusual in our household), we were encouraged to plant a few seeds in the pots outdoors (our flat). When they seemed to survive, we gifted a couple of mango and papaya saplings to friends. The parting was painful, especially, the first time- he made a huge bawl at the absence of his carefully tendered sapling in the empty pot. After repeated explanation of its need for earth to grow and flourish, he enquired about the possibility of grooming a garden to keep as his own. The talkings led to him planting a few seeds in the pots that miraculously survived for a while. Frequent visits to the nursery are common recently. We received a slug in one of our pots, and he was raving nonstop. There were a plenty of snails, as usual. He picked a few (this time with the soil), and nurtured them in a box with leaves, frequent water splashing. They seemed to be doing well.

On a sunny afternoon, as we were walking back home from his swimming class, I narrated our childhood episodes of experiments with fishtank. Of all the talking we do, this caught his undivided attention. So began his nudges to revive life into our fishtank. Kids have their way in getting their wishes granted. So, we ended up buying two pairs of angel fish, a cleaner and a pair of tiger. The tigers didn't survive through the night, when dad switched off the oxygen pump that night. Everybody that visits us home, or meets us along the pathways or even calls us, are being tormented with long lectures of fish adventures- 'do you know that our cleanr fish is mighty scared?', ' do you know blacky always nibbles on cleaner'?- on and on and on...

The moment we planned on a trip to the beach, Bloom came to me: 'Amma, I'll ask something. You should grant it' in a kindest tone you can imagine. It was a request for a pet crab. I just dismissed, and he tried convincing. I thought the matter was forgetten, until I saw him pack a box to bring back crab, with confident enthusiasm. Does a mother have a choice, in the face of such optimism? All along the van trip, he was talking about the fish and the prospective pet of crab with his friend. 

As soon as we got to the beach, he asked for the box and looked around for a crab- the hush of the waves ignored. When I told him to enjoy the beach and the crab will find its way to him, it was a casual say. While he was splashing water and enjoying the sand, I walked around paying attention to living things in the soil. There, in the dry soil under the scorching sun, I spotted a tiny moving mushroom. On close attention, realized it could be a crab. I called out for the boys. On close quarters, it was a HERMIT crab!!! We picked it and placed it in a disposable box. He is confident it's a 'she', he has named her Sayari.

The universe does listen- the desires, wishes from our stillness will be granted.