Gratitude

 In 2002, I was a still young girl, rebellious on the inside and verbally claimed that I would join some outfits if nothing works out. I was still trying to find my way in the mad world, without realising it was a mad world. I was still romanticising my life, without knowing that the world is too busy to throw a red carpet welcome to a timid girl from a rural south with little exposure. After all, my only touch points with an urban life was a brief period in Chennai during my masters and my very occasional homebound visits to my relatives in Coimbatore. 

I dreamed big. Of becoming a faculty at IISc Bangalore (thanks to my one week workshop there), of building livelihoods for the nomadic community (thanks to my daily observations on the way to school), of building the broken lives of those kids through education, of finding a means to bring their products to mainstream market. My biggest dream was to build a school for these kids. I visited a few schools, including THE SCHOOL to learn methods of infusing inspiration.

I had an elaborate dream written ver vividly out in my 2002 diary. Reading that diary still gets me grinning from ear to ear. One part of it is a house that can be reached by walking down the steps. A house with a hall and kitchen only - no TV, only newspapers and books. There's a tiny Maruti 800 (the smallest car in those times), 2 neem trees, a few mango trees, beside the house. Behind the house is a massive housing block that holds my people with their children. The children visit the house facing the road to read books, to have a chat with me etc. We all spend a lot of time together. By that time, I was a very rural person with little exposure and I had no idea of minimalist living. I am very very far from reaching the dream. Sometimes, when I ruminate over this, I feel like a failure, because I haven't taken any step towards this.

However, even without my planned efforts, some tiny parts of this has been satisfied. Somewhere in 2008-09, I lived in an apartment, the landing deck of which can be only reached by walking down the steps from the road. Living in that house was a consistent reminder of my dream. Around 2020-21, we have gotten rid of our television set and we had watched it only through casting via a Chromecast. After that TV succumbed to technical issues, we have completely gotten rid of a TV and replaced that space occupied by the console with a book shelf. We don't own a car - a conscious decision, just like we don't use the aircon at home- another conscious decision. 

Life is good. I live with the hope that my dream will manifest all together. Thanking the Universe/God for the challenges that nurture me.