வாழ்தலும் தாழ்தலும்

Aug 2002. Attended a course at IISc, Bangalore, while serving the bond that I had with AICTE towards my masters degree scholarship. That visit to IISc nurtured my dreams of PhD. I didn't even know back then what it entails to do a PhD. Didn't have a clear objective-it was ONLY a feeling. Very listlessly, I picked up the GRE Barron's and started preparing for a GRE. Slowly, as friends challenged me on words and their synonyms and anyonyms etal., I took to the preparation seriously. (My roommate back then was like: Prepare such that, of all the colleagues who attempt GRE, you should top. Or, better don't appear). I got too involved in the prep that I have let a number of idli kopparais burn-in the rented apartment we shared. Appeared for GRE in Oct 2003 (of course with better score than all my other colleagues who prepared), and for TOEFL in Nov 2003. By this time, Robotics caught my attention-although I knew nothing about it. Was offered admission at Southampton (UK) in Jan 2004. Back then, a good friend and I were running a night school for kids. I exposed them to the richness of a University campus-so proudly, so proudly. This was ribbed off when I was denied scholarship. The University generously offered to hold on to the seat until Aug 2004, if I could source funding and support myself. That wasn't happening. For someone who had already started collecting winter clothes and preparing for visa papers etc, this was a shatter. Following this,  had to forgo an offer at IIT Madras too. That was the lowest ebb at that point in time. By this time, I had transformed from an aimless person to a DETERMINED person. Yet, didn't 'know' of a way out.

Feb 2006. Moved to Sg post marriage. Wrote aimlessly to faculties, when my Supervisor (who had worked under the leadership of Abdul Kalam in ISRO) offered a position. I haven't seen enough men who let wives be themselves, and let hem pursue a committed research (while he himself didnt even have a postgraduate degree), immediately after marriage. There could be a few- I can happily claim I am one of those few. This, I think, is the true sign of feminism-all through the course of PhD, he didn't exhibit a sign of ego or an air of superiority claiming what he has "allowed" me to.
Digressed. By now, my supervisor directed me to focus on ML techniques towards AI. There were a lot of personal turmoils. We persevered. Before I could realize, I had contributed sufficiently to research-as research was my only sojourn in my turmoils. Now was a time for a maternity break which lasted for 2.5years.
I feared that the break could break my career. It didn't. Infact, it steeled myself more that I came back more aggressive than ever.
Today, I looked up at this notice with such pride. At the same IISc that sowed the seeds.

Thoothukudi is certainly not the kind of women-nurturing town. I didn't even know what email is, until 2000. I didn't even know what PhD is about, although I strived for one. I do not hail from a family of technical geeks.
All along, I was only a little girl standing on the shore to let the waves wash by. And the waves did wash by.

After the lecture, I had to rush for boarding a bus. I begged the auto driver to drop me on time, and the bus driver to wait until I reached. It was a sheer chase game. வாழ்க்கை வாழவும் கற்றுக்கொடுத்தது. தாழவும் கற்றுக்கொடுத்தது. To Him be Praises!